Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed of becoming a mother. Four days ago, my dream became a reality and my sweet little Jack was born!! It was the absolute craziest, best experience of my life.
I was getting majorly ANTSY to have the baby. Mostly because I knew he would be big and I was worried about complications happening if he stayed in very long past my due date. But also because I was CRAZY uncomfortable! My due date (Tuesday the 13th) came and went and still no baby. I had been in false labor for weeks. Painful, real-like contractions would come and I would get excited but then they'd just go away. I was planning on being induced on Monday, so I eventually just gave up on trying to get him to come on his own.
Eventually Friday (my 22nd birthday) rolled around. Me and Kody spent the day hanging out and swimming. After we came home from swimming I started to feel some strong contractions in my lower back. However, they weren't anything new so I didn't think too much of it! We planned on going to PF Changs that night so we got all ready. The contractions kept coming and Kody thought it would be good to go to the hospital and get them checked out just in case. The hospital wasn't too far from PF Changs and we had a good hour and a half until our reservation so we decided to stop there on the way! When the nurse checked me I was dilated to a 4.5 which was really exciting because I had been at a 3 for 3 weeks! Yay progress! A few hours or so later, the nurse told us that we weren't leaving and we were SO HAPPY! We were going to meet our little boy soon!
Right away I got an I.V put in with water. Soon after that I got my epidural. I was pretty nervous about this part. I had watched a video of an epidural in one of my family life classes and thought it looked SO PAINFUL. I felt a good pinch but I it definitely wasn't as bad as I thought! Soon I couldn't feel my legs and it was the weirdest feeling ever! But I also couldn't feel my painful back contractions either anymore so I was happy. Through the night the nurse would come in and make me switch sides to get the epidural everywhere evenly. I felt so helpless when she would do this because I literally couldn't feel anything or do any of the work flipping over. So strange!
A few times during the night, the heart rate monitor would go crazy, flashing red and making a super crazy sound. The baby was having a hard time recovering after every contraction and it was so scary! I wasn't making too much progress with dilating after a few hours so they put some pitocin in my I.V to help speed things along. Well, the baby really didn't like this and his heart rate continued to drop even more after every contraction. They decided to take off the heart rate and contraction monitors on my belly and put different ones inside of me. I had tubes coming out of me everywhere! I didn't even care though, I was just so worried about my baby. I knew he just needed to get out!! The nurses kept telling me that everything was fine but I couldn't relax enough to sleep. And Kody was sleeping on a super uncomfortable sofa with a pillow as flat as a pancake so he couldn't really sleep either.
After checking a few times, the nurse told me that the baby was likely "sunny side up" (which explains the back contractions) so delivery would probably be a little bit tricky. She also said that the umbilical cord was likely in front of the babys head/face and when he was pushed down during each contraction it was pushed against which cut off his oxygen, which explained why his heart rate would drop so much. Later on she checked again and said the baby may have had a bowl movement and they would need to have people from the NICU ready when I delivered, just in case. It seemed like every time she came in to check on me, there was something else that would make delivery harder. I knew my baby was having a difficult time with labor and I wanted so badly to say "JUST DO A C-SECTION RIGHT NOW AND GET HIM OUT!" I must have said about 100 prayers throughout the night, just praying that my baby would be okay!
At around 7:25 AM or so, the heart rate monitor started going off again and didn't really stop. I was dilated to an 8. My doctor and a few nurses came into the room and my doctor decided to do an emergency c-section. Normally I feel like I would have been scared but I knew that it needed to happen and I was SO relieved! Immediately all kinds of people ran in and started unplugging me. Someone threw Kody some clothes and told him to put them on and meet us in the OR. I honestly cannot believe how fast they got me into that room and up on the operating table. It was maaaybe like 3 minutes! While they were doing this they were also monitoring the baby and told me not to worry, that he was doing fine and that they would get him out ASAP. The anesthesiologist started putting something into my IV and told me that I wouldn't feel anything. They had me put my arms out on boards and put a warm plastic-y thing over them. I think that medicine was making me shaky because I seriously couldn't stop!! It was nuts.
A few seconds later, Kody came in and I was so happy to see him! He sat right down by my side and held my hand. Again, I knew I should have been scared but looking at him right there with me was one of the most surreal, crazy and wonderfully beautiful moments of my life! We were about to become parents to our sweet baby. So excited, so nervous, so in love. The only other moment I remember feeling that way was when we were at the altar getting married.
Next thing I knew, the anesthesiologist told me that they had started the incision. Except he didn't need to because I COULD FEEL IT. Not like 100% (I wasn't screaming) but I could feel the sharp scalpel slicing across my stomach and I started to freak out!! I told him and he immediately added something else to my IV and said "in 30 seconds you won't feel anything!" It was the longest 30 seconds of my life! But after that I really didn't feel it anymore, instead I just felt some pressure where they were cutting and it was okay. Haha, such a freaky experience!
The new medicine made me feel soooooo sleepy! I thought I would fall asleep but I didn't let myself. I remember seeing a mirror behind me that they put there in case I wanted to "see it" but I really, really didn't and looked away as soon as I saw it all! So, they moved it :) I also heard one doctor say "what do you want me to do with this muscle?" haha, ew.
Soon I heard the sweetest, greatest sound of my life- my little baby crying for the first time! It immediately made me cry. I couldn't believe that sound was actually coming from MY baby! For 9 months he had been growing inside of me and I had been imagining what he would be like. Even though I had a giant belly and had seen him in ultrasounds and all that, it wasn't really real until I heard that cry. I think I asked "is he okay?!" like a million times while I was lying there. Everyone assured me that he was, and kept talking about how big he was! I didn't see him, but Kody was able to get up and go with him to be cleaned/weighed/all that while I got stitched up. I heard them say his weight- 10lbs, 8 oz and I couldn't believe it! We knew he'd be big but not that big!! He was 100% healthy though so I was so happy. I just laid there and was SO EXCITED. Never ever, ever have I been in more anticipation in my entire life. I was also pretty loopy and tired- trying so hard to stay awake.
Finally I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life- my husband carrying our baby, walking towards me!! I saw him for the first time and just about died! He was so little and big and swollen and red and cute and amazing! Kody was so excited to show him to me. I can't even explain this moment. UNBELIEVABLE! I was so sleepy and shaky so I let Kody keep holding him. I knew he was in the best hands. While they continued to put me back together I talked to Kody and stared in awe at the little human being we created. He was screaming the whole time. Jack definitely had some good lungs and we loved hearing him cry.
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| Our first family picture while I got stitched up! Look at us!! I love this. Can you tell I am a little loopy? :) |
I also remember seeing doctors and nurses carrying away all kinds of blood-covered stuff...MY BLOOD. Ehhh :/ would totally have been more creeped out but I didn't really have time to because guess what- I had a new, perfectly healthy baby boy! I also remember being so thirsty during this whole thing! Like, more thirsty than I'd ever been in my life! I had been allowed to have ice chips while I was in labor but I was dying of thirst! I asked a bunch of times "when am I allowed to have water?!"
Finally it was all over and they lifted me off the table and into the hospital bed where I was able to HOLD MY BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! :) I was still so sleepy and wish I could remember that part better but I just remember being wheeled through+ the hospital and feeling so cool holding my baby, haha. I LOVED IT.
I have always heard bad things about c-sections but I am so, so, so grateful they exist and I am so grateful for modern medicine. 100 years ago, who knows what would have happened? All the doctors and nurses agree that there's no way I could have pushed out that big baby without it. I feel so strongly that it is what Jack and I both needed and I would do it all over again if I needed to.
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| Holding my new baby!! Don't really remember taking this picture but I'm so happy to have it. Jack's little face was so swollen!! He had had such a rough night in there! |
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| 1-day-old Jack and daddy :) |
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| He makes the CUTEST little facial expressions all the time...so dang sweet!! I remember being in the hospital and not even being able to look at him without crying. It still happens. I am an emotional roller coaster these days! |
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| Grandpa holding Jack for the first time!! |
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| Grandma and Jack |
We are sooo excited to snuggle him and watch him grow :)
xo
