Sleepless Nights

1/04/2018


Dear Jack,

When you hit about 2.5 months old, you started sleeping through the night and we were so happy! It was so nice to be able to think clearly during the day and not feel like a zombie 24/7. It was also nice to know that YOU were getting all the rest you needed to be a happy, growing baby boy.

But then a few weeks ago you got a cold AND started cutting both of your bottom teeth at the same time. Since then your sleeping patterns have been so difficult for us to keep up with! You teased us little man!

It has been hard. I feel like I spend all night trying to get you to sleep and when the morning comes, I am exhausted!

But last night as I was getting ready for bed, I found this poem, thought of you and cried and cried to your dad about how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Sometimes my heart just can't take it!

---

You call for me at midnight,
You call for me at four.
Sometimes with a gurgle,
More often with a roar.
The night is big and lonely,
And you are oh so small.
You’d like to see your mummy.
And so, my love, you call.
It’s late and I am sleepy,
And so, my love, I grumble.
And as I pick you up again
You hear my tired mumble.
But nonetheless I hold you,
Rock you back to sleep.
I promised I’d be there for you;
A promise that I’ll keep.
Then maybe later down the track,
(In eighteen years or more!)
You’ll call me once again, my love,
At two, or three, or four.
And once again I’ll grumble,
I’ll moan that it is late.
But I’ll always come and find you,
I’ll never make you wait.
And there might come a day,
When you’re a parent too.
And in the middle of the night
Your child will call for you.
And then you’ll understand
That precious love so deep.
You wouldn’t trade it in
For a thousand nights of sleep.
Yet sometimes you’ll be tired,
You’ll think you’ve had enough.
Then you can call on me, my love;
Sleepless nights are tough.
Whether you’re a baby,
Or when you’re fully grown.
You can always call on me, my love,
You’ll never be alone.
And though there’ll come a day
When we will be apart.
You still can always call on me;
I’ll live on in your heart.
---

Oh my goodness.

This poem explains perfectly how I feel about your little sleeping habits lately and how I feel about you. I think it is a wonderful metaphor for our entire relationship.

Life is hard. There will be times when you feel sad, angry, lonely, frustrated, embarrassed, and let down. It can get really tough.

I will ALWAYS be there for you, day or night. When you're a little baby like you are now, or when you are a big, grown-up man with babies of your own. I will always be your #1 fan, your cheerleader, your supporter and your go-to helper. No matter what situation you're in, no matter where you are, no matter WHAT happens, you can count on me to help you.

Even if it is waking up 4x during the night ;)

LOVE YOU LITTLE MAN!

love,

mom

(poem from this amazingly talented blogger

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